As usual, I agree:

Forgot to note that trip: Urban Outfitters has all your hipster gear, including a wide array of real cheap film cameras that take real lousy pictures. Why, people use their iPhones to reproduce these lousy pictures – go for the authentic thing, dude! They also had cards that said HAVE A MERRY $%ING CHRISTMAS, because authentic people who don’t buy your tired old rules like to cuss, particularly when it upends the Normal Rockwell lingo, don’t you know. There was a nice old mom looking at the items on the shelf, perhaps because a grandson said he wanted something from the store or had a “lomo camera” on his list, and when she searched the google this store came up. I wanted to take her by the elbow and guide her away from the stack of MERRY $%ING CHRISTMAS cards.
I know this sounds terribly old-fashioned, but I believe a 65-year old grey-haired lady ought to be able to walk into any store in a large mall and not see the F word on a Christmas card.

 The older I guess, the less tolerance I have for this sort of “authentic” action.  I was a freaking doormat in school– the “free expression” (that is, figuring out what you care about so they can desecrate it) of everyone else too precedence, and my comfort was that I was mature and well-behaved.  Now I’m getting closer to thirty, and noticing that many of my age-set– and older– have yet to grow up.  I was a brat— that there are adults walking around who are less mature than I was is embarrassing to the human race.

“Ooh!  Ooh! I was able to shock you by going counter to expectations!  But it’s OK because you haven’t gone ballistic on me, like I go on you if you fail to bow to my desires.”  Of course, if you DO go ballistic, it’s counter their expectations, so you’re a bad person… no shock, those who are biggest on dishing it out STILL can’t take it.


2 thoughts on “Lileks”

  1. Now I'm getting closer to thirty

    OMG!!! Have you picked out your rocking chair yet?

    (Actually, I suppose you have; they are the greatest at soothing toddlers. Just because I have none (toddlers, I mean) doesn't mean I've no experience there. I've had lots of friends who do. So, I've been an honorary uncle to quite a few.)

    — have yet to grow up.

    If I ever do, I suppose I can do a post about that

    I share your feelings about language (I'm still five months short of 70) and have long gotten past the “it's only vibrations in the air” attitude towards it. Some vibrations could get you killed in certain circumstances, so that argument is hardly definitive.

    I don't know what your Navy days were like, but in my time in the USAF (early '60s) I recall my drill instructors did NOT indulge in gutter language because they had an excellent command of English and probably felt that egregious profanity only diminished them.

  2. OMG!!! Have you picked out your rocking chair yet?

    *laughs* Sadly, our glide-rocker bit the dust after only a couple of months of toddler+infant use, so it's purely metaphorical now!

    Thirty is pretty solidly “adult,” though– you can't really do the whole “I'm still finding myself” stuff at that point.

    Our guys in boot camp almost never cursed, and never officially, but the whole “cuss like a sailor” thing is still in place. (Much reduced in creativity, though– it's generic Jay and Silent Bob stuff.)

    You're not a child— I thought these guys where childish when I was 16, and the ones I'm complaining about have either stayed the same or gotten worse.

    As for edging to 70– remember that G. Gordon Liddy is 81 these days, and I sure as blessings wouldn't cross him! (Ditto my grandmother-in-law, but that's a given.)

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