What you say vs what someone hears

Here’s what I didn’t fully understand:  that Kenneth, who to me and to a lot of folks on Ricochet was irascible and rude and ultimately not built for a place like this, was, to a lot of other folks on Ricochet a truly mean-spirited and hurtful person.  And that by linking to him I seemed to be endorsing his behavior here, which I wasn’t, instead of simply directing my fellow members to an interesting post, which I was.

via What Was I Thinking? – Ricochet.com.

Just heard about the post that inspired this on the Ricochet podcast.  Reminded me of my mom’s saying that “what you hear isn’t what I’m saying.”  (It’s not a matter of fault, it’s just that most everyone does some thinking in shorthand.  Some of us then speak in that shorthand, and smudge it.)


Kenneth was an ass.  I’ve got about 75% “irascible” cousins, about 25% “rude” and about 5% “total ass” cousins.  He’d fit in well with the one in twenty.  (For a measure: the close blood relative whose response to finding out I was engaged was to look at the ring on my hand and snarl about “blood diamonds” is on the border between “rude” and “irascible,” mostly because he’s consistantly that way and drops it in a second if there’s something really, really important going on. He’ll rain on your parade, but help change the flat tire.)


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