I will let that voice speak to you now. Here is Brian. Brian is a son of a surrogate impregnated by his bio father’s sperm. These are Brian’s words (typos and all) about his reality:

How do you think we feel about being created specifically to be given away? You should all know that kids form their own opinions. I don’t care why my parents or my mother did this. It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want. You can wrap it up in a silk freaking scarf. You can pretend these are not your children. You can say it is a gift or you donated your egg to the IM. But the fact is that someone has contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights and hand over your flesh and blood child. I dont care if you think I am not your child, what about what I think! Maybe I know I am your child.When you exchange somehing for oney it is called a commodity. Babies are not commodities. Babies are human beings. How do you think this makes us feel to know that there was money exchanged for us?

via Creative Minority Report: Surrogacy: Hollywood vs. Reality.

Go read the rest, please.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before… I was rather uncool with the whole “surrogacy” thing because it was pretty obviously dehumanizing–to the mother.  Didn’t even get to the mental point where it’s buying a kid, to be delivered about X day.  Didn’t need to, to be against it, but startled I hadn’t even considered that.


4 thoughts on “Powerful”

  1. That point of view has never occurred to me- woah.

    However, I wonder if an alternate approach might be to consider Bryan equisitely *wanted* – all three of his parents had to really want to commit to this to make it happen. I don’t know what it’s like to be in his head – it sounds like some of the same feelings of abandonment you hear from many adopted children, and similar logic could apply there as well, so maybe it’s not a quick answer…

    Eye opening.

  2. Except that you don’t create adopted kids so that you can put them through adoption, adoption is making a better situation out of a bad one.

    And you definitely don’t create adoptable kids by paying the mother to get pregnant with a kid made to specs.

  3. There are different reasons for using surrogates, in some cases the biological mother can’t carry a baby to term for physical reasons, so a fertilized egg/embryo is implanted in a surrogate who can carry to term. I see nothing wrong with this scenario, nor with compensating the surrogate. But when you get into other areas (like actresses who don’t want to be pregnant because it will interrupt their career, which begs the question of what the kid is going to do once they arrive) it starts to get all gray and fuzzy.

  4. As you can see, he doesn’t agree.

    I’m inclined to agree with him, since I’m quite sold on the bad effects that treating “having it your way” in the kid department has had. It stops being about the kid, and becomes about the adult’s desires– which isn’t a great idea, since that little person is not going to be exactly what the adult wants at all later points.

    Kind of like how “my birth control failed” is seen as a fine reason to kill the young human that resulted. Sometimes after that person is born, as the various “mother gave birth secretly and killed the kid, got a slap on the wrist” stories are sad evidence of.

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