I’m Sick of Hearing ‘You’ve Got Your Hands Full!’ | Parenting

My husband and I were, obviously, over the moon when we found out we were pregnant again. We adore our daughter and the idea of a big family. We have, unfortunately, seen many friends experience infertility and secondary infertility. Even though we had it relatively easy getting (and staying) pregnant the first time around, there were no guarantees we would have it easy again the second time. With that in mind, we decided to leave our fertility up to G-d, and He came through for us with an incredibly beautiful and sweet son.

When we started telling people we were pregnant, we were shocked at some of the responses. People were annoyed at worst, apathetic at best. I can count my hands how many people were actually genuinely excited for us.

via I’m Sick of Hearing ‘You’ve Got Your Hands Full!’ | Parenting.

And in our case, most of them were total strangers at the commissary on base.


14 thoughts on “I’m Sick of Hearing ‘You’ve Got Your Hands Full!’ | Parenting”

  1. My parents always wished they had about 3 kids, but unfortunately they just got me (and even that was apparently a stretch).

    Partially why the “every child a wanted child” bugs me. You can’t know how many wanted children were denied to hopeful parents.

    Congrats to Bethany and Foxfier. :)

  2. We hear this as well, all the time, with four under 8 (twins will do that to you). It’s always in a distainful/sarcastic tone, as if they want to say something witty but can’t come up with anything. I like to think they don’t know what they’re missing. I second Bethany’s comments, though, that “You’re so blessed” would be far preferable.

    And congrats to Bethany and Foxfier as well!

    1. *wry* We’ve got four under 8– four under six, actually!– just good luck on fertility.

      Sometimes it seems like I spent half my time complaining about people being nasty about us having kids, and the other half trying not to say the wrong thing around the friends and relatives that have been trying for YEARS with no luck.

  3. I’ll admit that I’ve made “you’ve got your hands full” comments but I hope it’s always seen in terms of “understanding the challenges” of raising young children. I hope people with young children get plenty of enjoyment along with the “interesting times”. [Smile]

    1. A couple of the little old ladies have said it, too– but there’s a different tone, and about half of them follow it up with “you might not believe it, but you’re really going to miss that.”

      Had a great run-in the other day, took the girls shopping with me and Princess got distracted. Wouldn’t listen to me when I told her to move three times, in a normal voice, because she was blocking the route. So I said in Mom Voice- “MOVE.”
      Lady I was trying not to run into whips her head around, spots me.. and then spots Princess doing a quick zip to where she was supposed to be, and starts laughing as I tell my now listening daughter that it’s rude to block people, and says to the lady she was talking to:
      “I had six! You remember those days?”

      It’s hard to explain, but you can FEEL the difference between the folks who are… unpleasant.

      1. I’ve seen toddlers in the malls running ahead of the parents (sometimes a good distance).

        I’m a “meanie” as I’ll stand in the path of the toddler (never touching the child).

        Most times the child will stop and head back to the parents.

        I’ve commented that parents of toddlers need all the help they can get. [Smile]

  4. Oh, you can definitely feel the difference between the unpleasant folks. I remember my brothers delighting in taking the eldest ’round to the mall, just to treat her to McDonalds and have her toddling between the two of them… and the young women going ‘awww’ and being ignored because there’s already a cute little girl holding their attention. It used to amuse my mom and I a LOT.

    I’m trying to see if I can manage two more. I want the giggly enjoyable chaos of littles again. But the doc said ‘wait 3 more months before trying again. At least.” And her expression said pretty much ‘please wait longer.’ But I miss my bundle of scowling personality, and I miss having the joy of parenting little ones. There’s so much of a gap now between the next one and the first two, I’m honestly wanting two more. Or three, since really it’s so easy for me to fall pregnant (I tease Rhys with ‘your taddies are mighty!’) but I think Rhys would wibble.

    I always loved the thought of having a large family, and I guess I have it in a way (Aff is the ‘big kid’; he loves hearing the kiddlies laugh so he takes it upon himself to make it happen, usually with the aid of Nerf guns) but I guess I want an even bigger family, y’know?

    Nummy those toesies for me, please! ^o^

    1. Aye aye, ma’am!

      Try to build your body up, please– a few months more won’t hurt on the spacing with the big kids, and it’ll make recovery so much faster. I went really heavy on vitamins before the Lady’s pregnancy because I’d broken my foot, and my recovery from this has been the fastest ever. I was off of all my medications and, going by half-life, they were out of my system by a week after my surgery. (In contrast, first pregnancy I was barely out of the hospital by that time.)

      1. I needed them; I don’t know if you do. I can’t stand the taste of milk, and I was low on B complex, and anemic.

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