What the Hook-up Culture Has Done to Women – Crisis Magazine

A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. ∼  Henry David Thoreau, Walden A few weeks ago, a young woman at Stanford …

Source: What the Hook-up Culture Has Done to Women – Crisis Magazine

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14 thoughts on “What the Hook-up Culture Has Done to Women – Crisis Magazine”

  1. Sadly some of those women will “whine” about men not being willing to commit.

    While some men will always be willing to commit, too many other men see no reason to commit because they’re getting free sex. :sad:

    1. And you can’t tell who is lying, because the guys who are saying with their body “I am absolutely dedicated to you”– that’s what sex IS– are also very likely to be the ones who see no reason to do so.

  2. I’ve got no sympathy, especially when I hear about the women who think that having a vagina entitles them to sex with any man *they* choose, regardless of whether or not the man wants them. The same people who bleat about the men who don’t want to commit, are the same groups that bitch that women should ‘be able to choose who will sire their children, and that they ‘deserve’ handsome, intelligent husbands’ – and if the guy refuses to have sex with them or date them or marry them, it’s ‘denying the woman their sexual freedom and choice.’

    1. Which is funny because it’s usually “basement dwelling loser virgins” who are usually painted as the entitled ones. (which is usually not the case in my data gathering)

      1. Heck, the entitled guys I’ve run into tend to be the losers who’ve had sex a couple of times on the logic that anything is OK if it gets you sex and isn’t forcible rape.

        IE, the male of the subgroup that treats “virgin” as an insult.

      2. He starts out fine, and then goes totally off the rails– he observes that guy #1 whose great achievement is showing up, although with mental issues, is wrong in not recognizing that there are two sides to “success”, and then goes waaaay down a funky rabbit hole where observing that there are in fact people who aren’t nice at all who call themselves “nice guys” is akin to straw man racism.

        He had a really good point, and then it got lost in him being angry and deciding that the behavior of places like “heartless bitches united” or whatever are representative of something besides deliberately catty people.
        Next up: Pope believes that God drove evolution?

        Might have been improved by drawing the connection between the “nothing is EVER my fault” people and the “but I’m a nice guy” group– of both sexes.

      3. that there are in fact people who aren’t nice at all who call themselves “nice guys” is akin to straw man racism.

        You lost me here as I can’t follow your statement. Where is the mention of not nice people calling themselves nice?

        The thing about minorities was an example of the left’s popular efforts at mischaracterization (which I know you should be familiar with given the websites I’ve run into you at).

        whatever are representative of something besides deliberately catty people.

        What’s the point when it does become representative of feminism? Yes I know “no-true Scotsman” fallacy gets overplayed a lot (especially given how any group large enough will have outliers) but when it gets to the point of “there are no scotsman” it has reached the fallacy point.

      4. . Where is the mention of not nice people calling themselves nice?

        That’s what the self-identified “bitch” websites were doing– he even found a fairly sane one that pointed it out.
        Well, other than the “point and make rude noises at the vulnerable people” ones. Freaking bullies.

        What’s the point when it does become representative of feminism?

        There’s a difference between modern feminism and being deliberately catty as a matter of course?

        It doesn’t make it less true if a feminist says it– they’re just booger-all horrible at correctly identifying whys.
        Like how PC is a response to the obvious problem that destroying manners was a bad idea, but heaven forbid they consider going to back to controlling themselves– much easier to force everybody else to behave.

        *****

        He had a chance for a really big breakthrough– as he himself put it, he wanted to be rewarded for not being as much of a loser as the wife beater, even though he’s the “but I showed up, why isn’t the world rewarding me?” guy.

        There’s so much room in the “you are a hard worker” metaphor that might help people deal with the “nice guy” problem– of all stripes, the ones who are being abused by bad “bosses,” the ones who think of their employer as a magical bag of money, and the ones who just don’t match the job that they’re currently in and would benefit from looking for a different career.
        All of them hinge on dealing with other half of the relationship as an individual with their own desires and goals, and the last one involves recognizing that maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. (If that doesn’t cover half of my genuinely nice guy friends, I don’t know what would…..)

        Of course, this is all stuff that I figured out after I was married, and had a chance to watch and try to put things together as an “invisible” person.

        I don’t know if it’s entirely possible on the internet, especially not with so many manipulative liars out there– I’ve been the “she friendzoned me” person, and what he described to his friends has some rather big gaps in it, besides some definite differences of interpretation.
        (You’ve probably heard it before, I’m a little obnoxious about it; the guy who asked me out and then stopped talking to me.)

      5. There are some of those, but they’re not the norm, honestly, from what I’ve observed.

        Funny thing; while bouncing around Youtube doing the link random click thing, I ran across summarized clips of a series called ‘Sex Sent me To The ER.’ The re-enactments are humorous, and don’t take themselves seriously in the least. One of the stories was about a guy who, when he met his girlfriend, had been 400 odd pounds in weight, had a quirky sense of humor, and was a self described shy virgin. She was the one who decided to take it to the next level. That particular couple stands out in my mind because they had matching personalities and senses of humor, and oooh, the digs they took at each other during the interview but took no offense to? Had me saying to myself, “They’re gonna grow old together, giggling all the way.”

      6. Everything made sense to me once when I realized much of feminism nowadays is about dehumanizing males. Thus all the talk of “nice guys” or “creepy virgins” because to even entertain the possibility that some guys out there really just want someone they can connect to on mental, emotional, and spiritual levels (in addition to physical) would force feminists to consider that some women can just be straight up assholes.

        But it’s nice when two people can find that connection together.

      7. I’ve heard of that series, but never watched it. We have our own version of that at the PD anyway. Some of the things people do are a little….strange.

      8. I found it rather funny. The whole thing is presented with the air of ‘yeah, this could’ve killed us, but we didn’t end up dead so we kinda just laugh about it now, but still, watch out!’ Also, the reinactments are done with the cheese and ham heaped on by the truckload, so it’s far (think ‘galaxy far away) from kinky or erotic; the viewer is more ‘so… what horrible thing happened to them that landed them in the ER?’

  3. It would be fascinating to watch the author of that article and judgybitch have a debate since they both agree that there is a problem and on the symptoms, but might not on source.

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